How to ask for a referral without feeling awkward
By Adedayo Adeniyi · 4 min read · Updated Nov 9, 2026
A referral puts your application in front of a person instead of a pile. Most people are happy to give one when the ask is clear and easy to say no to.
Before you ask
- Pick someone who knows you or your work, even from a while ago.
- Make sure the role really fits you. A referral uses a little of their reputation.
- Have the job link and your resume ready to send in the same message.
How to make it easy
Give them everything they need in one message: the role, the link, two lines on why you fit, and your resume. Then give them an easy out. People say yes more often when they feel free to say no.
Messages you can copy
Hi [Name], I hope you're doing well. I'm applying for the [Role] role at [Company] and remembered you're there now. Would you be comfortable referring me? Here's the post: [link]. In short, [two lines on why you fit]. I've attached my resume. Totally fine if it's not a good time.
Hi [Name], I saw you work on [team] at [Company]. I'm interested in the [Role] opening and would love to hear what the team is like before I apply. Would you have 15 minutes for a quick call this week or next?
Thanks again for the chat, [Name]. It made me even more excited about [Company]. If you feel comfortable, would you be open to referring me for [Role]? Here's the link: [link]. And no worries at all if not.
After they say yes
Thank them right away. Tell them when you've applied, and send a short update a couple of weeks later, even if it's a no. People who refer you want to know how it went.